Join for FREE | Take the Tour Lost Password?
[x]

deviantART

 
About Me Member Horror Writer garraleesoontobe16/Male/United States Recent Activity Deviant for 1 Year
Needs Premium Membership
Statistics 39 Deviations
326 Comments
3,104 Pageviews

He's Killing Me

Mon Nov 16, 2009, 4:46 PM
  • Mood: Emotional
  • Listening to: Angels by Within Temptation
I really need some guidance on something I can't keep in. It involves my love life so if you don't want to hear it then don't read.

Way back in July I went to a convention in Atlanta with my friend, Tear-chan, and there was this guy I met there cosplaying as a ninja. He saw me in my bondage costume and my sign saying "Will Yaoi With Hot Peoples for Free" and we started talking: just talking. While several other GIRLS kept jerking me around, pulling on my leech and trying to freaking rape me, he just treated me like a normal person.
Later I found out he was bi and he told me I was cute...and he would have kissed me but he was already dating someone else. When I left, we swapped e-mails and chatted every now and then through that.
Then one day in September he said he fixed his phone and so we swapped numbers and began texting like crazy. Then we started talking. Then he told that he was single and one thing lead to another and by the time the first call had ended we had made "promises" to each other for the next con coming in a few DAYS.
About a week went by and after so much talking I began falling for him so I told him and that "I wasn't going to let myself be used or use him like that." And that he needed to hurry up and decide if he will return the same feelings. (THIS WAS ALL STILL IN SEPTEMBER)
He said he wasn't ready and so I gave him time. Well almost two mouths have passed ad he is still saying he can't decide between me (who waited for him and was always honest with him ) and he ex girlfriend (who left him in the first place).
He tells me he loves me and he cares but it gets harder to believe him.
I'm screaming inside every time I look at his picture on my phone and I bleed inside every time he tells me he loves me. I shatter every time I hear his voice and my heart becomes twisted and and locked every time I have to stop myself from saying the same. The nwhen I finally say it...it only hurts more.
He kills me inside...but I love him.
Help me....

deviantID

No deviantID yet.

Devious Info

  • Current Residence: GA, USA
  • Interests: music, yaoi, movies, writing
  • Favourite movie: Phantom of the Opera and Sweeney Todd
  • Favourite band or musician: Nightwish, Epica, WIthin Temptation, Lacuna Coil
  • Favourite genre of music: Goth, Viking Metal
  • Favourite artist: avi17
  • Favourite poet or writer: Tear-chan
  • Favourite photographer: =ChrissieCool
  • Favourite style of art: anime & yaoi
  • Operating System: My Ass
  • MP3 player of choice: iPod
  • Shell of choice: Underground Cave
  • Wallpaper of choice: D. Gray-man
  • Skin of choice: Skulls, Thorns & Black Roses
  • Favourite game: Final Fantasy VII, IX, & X
  • Favourite gaming platform: PS3
  • Personal Quote: Within everything ugly, there is something beautiful.
  • Tools of the Trade: My imagination

deviantART Community Board

[x]

Comments


:iconxxblackxxrosexx:

Thanks for the recent fave. :aww:


--

Love the moment. Flowers grow out of dark moments.

Therefore, each moment is vital. It affects the whole.

Life is a succession of such moments and to live each, is to succeed. - Corita Kent
:iconxxblackxxrosexx:

Thanks for the favorite! :)


--

Love the moment. Flowers grow out of dark moments.

Therefore, each moment is vital. It affects the whole.

Life is a succession of such moments and to live each, is to succeed. - Corita Kent
:icontasha9090:
thanks for the :+fav:

--
Fly fly fly, free free free......please don't ask -_-; *le sigh of boredom*
[url=[link]
:iconchrissiecool:
Thank you very much for the :+fav: s :heart:

--
Be Naughty....

Save Santa a Visit :flirty:
:iconroack:
:iconteddyplz::iconsaysplz:Thanks for the fave, dear :meow::iconhappyskipplz::iconsweethugplz:

--
The countre where sex rate is the world's highest = Greece
:iconhindari:
Thanks for the fav :D

--
I am 105% sure... that I am obsessed with L.

"No matter how gifted, you alone cannot change the world" ~L from L Change the WorLd
:icongarraleesoontobe:
Ur Welcome. =^-^=

--
What are we if not slave to our own torment?

To be forgotten is worse then dead.

The dark is nothing to be afraid of. What could be lurking in it is.

[link]
:icon2foxxie4u:
:iconimfuriousplz:

HAY, EVERYONE!!!

BECAUSE OF THIS GUY, STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE IS GOING TO DIE A BERRY, BERRY BLOODY DEATH!!!

IT'S TRUE!!! :iconimhorrifiedplz:

THINK OF THE SHORTCAKE! DEMAND EQUALITY FOR ALL PASTRIES EVERYWHERE!!!!! DDD<

That is all.

--
God created man first cuz there's always a rough-draft before that masterpiece.

Love your enemies - it will drive them NUTS!

And then God said, "John, come forth, and receive eternal life!" But John came fifth, and got a toaster. =C

Love for Jesus!
:icongarraleesoontobe:
Foxxie...what the hell?

--
What are we if not slave to our own torment?

To be forgotten is worse then dead.

The dark is nothing to be afraid of. What could be lurking in it is.

[link]
:icon2foxxie4u:
DON'T PRETEND LIEK YOU DUN KNOW! DDD8>

STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE KILLER! DDD<

--
God created man first cuz there's always a rough-draft before that masterpiece.

Love your enemies - it will drive them NUTS!

And then God said, "John, come forth, and receive eternal life!" But John came fifth, and got a toaster. =C

Love for Jesus!

Site Map